Friday, 28 December 2012

this composition and more

so atleast you know what is happening inside my head right now?

Friday, 7 December 2012


in my mind, in my head
this is where we all came from,

dreams we have, the love we share
this is what we're waiting for.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

terry pratchett said it!

'coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving'

so honest, so real.

third eye blind

by the way watching them live
performing this song brought a hurricane...
it will fall short of any words if i try to say why!


she could never tell
when to stop
when to go,
for hours
she would just lie down
listening to the sound of every footstep
thinking its him,
passing those endless hours;
rejoicing his coming or
mourning his further delay...
and at the end,
both made her felt same anyways

she still cannot tell
when to stop
so she just lies down
listening to the sound of her heartbeat
knowing the difference
between the real happiness
& fleeting sorrows
along with these fleeting moments...

how could have she not known this difference for all these years?
nobody really does, i guess

and once that happens, you are just not the same anymore.
its explicit, obvious, an alternate reality that was discovered never before.
until this day.

Saturday, 29 September 2012

moon got blues

it's the full moon night again.

every month
she would desire to admire it
paused, lost in thought
endless thoughts
at other times only one,
same thing though

she believe this to be the only reality perhaps
a common thread, still existing
a delusional comfort
of sharing the same thing with him.
such an act of togetherness

it's the full moon night again.
she is exhausted of admiring it now
the pretense of assumptions appears stronger now
an insane thought, noisier than high tides

when the reality splits,
it splits the mind and heart
it shakes you generously
and then there are different times
where delusion starts to elude
prisoned in the same mind;
filling it with more chaos
opening it's doors to universe
questioning it's very existence
it's primal needs.

her soul stirs,
the moon will never look pretty again
another beautiful part broke.
he admires it with somebody else perhaps
fanning his own desires.

somebody else will be in delusion tonight,
and when that will touch the truth
only heavens will fall
bringing down the moon with it.

Thursday, 20 September 2012

like a cocoon

she did not stop dreaming about him
dreams of losing him midst the crowd,
or running after somebody she thought
was him,
dreams that have stirred her...
imagining him calling out her name loud.

it depresses her
how is it different from the times gone by?
where she was always afraid of
losing him
the world where he never understood
the silence and pain of her love
the power of her dreams
to live his
the sanctity of her world...
perhaps because he had his own.

these dreams and the reality then
it's all the same sometimes
she sees him everyday with
other bystanders
having a laugh...
offering love that she always believed
was hers
reality that stirs her soul now
its all gone
along with his deception
all true

but there is always hope...
no matter how brutal & hapless,
like a cocoon wrapped inside all the truth and love
which she still offers him secretly.

Saturday, 15 September 2012


until you travel to that place you can't come back
where the last pain is gone and all that's left is black

at last those coming came and they never looked back
with blinding stars in their eyes but all they saw was black

and when you follow through and wind up on your back
looking up at no stars in the sky those white clouds have turned it black.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

did you say the first rain without you?

it rained all night long,
along with the nostalgia
in my head,
just like this monsoon
and the pain of this song
it's a long long way down...

Saturday, 9 June 2012


after a while they got faint, then they got silent.
i kept on listening anyway...

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

every breath, just a shadow

sometimes i miss you so much that
i search for all the music that you played around
of all sorts, it depended on your mood and chores.
and then one by one i listen to every song i can remember,
all your favourites.
this makes me cry so much.

Sunday, 29 April 2012


i am breathless.
i keep thinking if
i can stop thinking
but like an echo
it keeps getting louder

his small and precious
signs of laughter, hurt
anger, love, sadness
crystal visible virtual memory
is the only surviving reality now

i don't wish to let it go
and i never wish to forget
the reality and memories
are one now, lost and deranged
in it's union
he will stay till eternity
and me, breathless forever.

Friday, 27 April 2012


i am drowning in all
the love you won't
accept from me anymore.

Friday, 20 April 2012


what are new dreams?
are they really dreams if it means letting go of
your older ones?
why can't a new dream be an extension of
old one?
or why does one has to run away from old dreams
in exchange of new ones?
when the new ones are nothing but an alien to you,
and appears to be meaningless. almost.
can the new dreams really be called as dreams?
like in a beautiful way?
or is it just an assumed alibi for
making the older ones redundant that
made you unhappy once?

is emotional recession really
great for investing hopes and buying new dreams?
is it fair to dream those dreams and continue to hope...
or must we just stick to our reality
where the past dreams are mostly ridiculed
and present ones merely an alibi?

now when the time stands still,
is new all new?
are the past dreams just done with its due
or are they really broken too?

Tuesday, 17 January 2012


habits are just another form of addiction.
isn't it?